I can’t wait for the Chinese New Year holidays next weekend, this studying non-stop (hard as I try, it’s always broken up by distractions, procrastination, and gluttony on my part) attempt is killing my soul.. One consolation is that I’ve got notes ready for exam preparation without having to read through my study guide and reference readings in the National Library. But that’s only for 2.5 out of 5 subjects that I have to prepare myself for.
Sometimes the studying mood just hits me, suddenly I sit down and am able to concentrate for 3 hours at one shot (which is quite an occasional achievement), most other times I start doing the laundry, catching Japan Hour on channel news asia, cooking dinner, making coffee, playing Spider solitaire, cleaning up a bit, spend my time browsing through Youtube or watching Prison Break (I’ve just finished season one. I’ll try not to get too psyched about season 2 when I get my hands on it, thanks to Shane the Lord of drama serials lol) etc. There are just too many things I can do besides studying, which happens to be the most important thing I hafta do. These days, I spend an average of 4 hours a day on reading through and preparing my own notes; but that’s barely enough because I also need to start practising how to produce 4 essays in 3 hours on average. God help me. Every night I pray that the next day will be productive.
It is hard being an external student studying independently. I bumped into ex classmates yesterday and suddenly I miss going to school, having the luxury to sit through lectures, although when I had to sit through them in the past I mostly didn’t pay much attention. So I guess it all comes down to the same thing: practice, practice, practice. Just like learning how to play an instrument, the more you do it the better you get at it. I’ve done a rough calculation and I’ll hafta write approximately 20 essays in my exams this year, in a span of 15 hours.
Let’s just cut the bullshit and get down to it, I tell myself all the time. I wonder if anybody understands what I’m going through.
I’ll start thinking about how to spend my time after the exams end.